I am Happy. :]

Many of the blogs I have posted are depressing or creative writing. It has also been a while since I have posted anything so here it goes.

I am so completely happy right now. I have come to the realization that no matter the challenges I have found my happiness.

I have found and have soaked up the people in my life that truly care about me and that I do as well. And I have taken out those who I felt used by, unappreciated, and or untrustworthy.

I have a boyfriend that I barely even know, but I already have amazing feelings for. Our chemistry is SO STRONG and I know I can truly be myself around him. With Rex, I always cared about him and I knew i could be myself but the chemistry with Jesse is 5x more amazing. Jesse likes EVERYTHING about me, thus far haha.

I am truly trying to get connected with various family members, which also is branched off of the first statement. I have been calling my sister more and I'm going to email Ray this week again. Despite the awkwardness of maintaining my relationship with my biological father, I know it's a relationship that I asked for. Even though it has taken so much time for my outreach and that it may take YEARS for me to accept him truly as a family member that I am making another step.

I have been working on my decision making and my attitude in tough situations. I feel as if I truly am improving myself as a person. People that don't change ever don't go anywhere. No matter what you do in life, without changing yourself first, life isn't nearly as rewarding.

Although there are a few things that I definitely want to work on such as my job situation, money management, and time management. I am making a couple huge steps to being a better person and doing better things for others.

Also, pardon my language but I'm tired of bull shitting. In many situations I have been very submissive. Although I do believe that a certain about of submission is good for everyone, I believe that I need to be more real with people and if I truly believe in something strongly, I will make it heard. This maybe one of the hardest changes for me but it is something that I will definitely work on and progress in time over the next few months.

So as my wonderful media psychology teacher, Mr. Beggs once said, "Do change! Change is good!"