What is truth? Is it the words the creep out of one's lips? Is it the look off innocence in one's dreary prolonged expression? Truth has a deeper meaning and it seems as if I have come to known people of nature that lack it. The truth of an undenying friendship. Or the truth of personalities and those who tend to...mend reality's footage. And those who laugh and fake their way through their life thinking selfishly of only themselves.
My birthday is coming up...and I don't think anyone cares. Did you know that hurts a lot? I think the only people that will actually even care to do something for me is my family and my boyfriend. That shows you were the true ones are now. And yeah, it's a birthday. There are plenty more of them. But when I think back on my 18th birthday I want to be able to smile and know it was a really nice one. Last year was a dud and the year before that was somewhat okay but not much better. And again it was really my family that put in the most effort. Honestly...I think my 15th Birthday was one of the best. My best friend (at the time) and I had close birthdays and had a joint party. We had the best of times back then...
I've been trying not to show others how I truly feel lately and maybe that makes me untruthful but people expect the smiling nodding face from me. They expect me to make them laugh and vent to me and so I can tell them it'll all be alright. Lately, I've been the one that's wanted to hear someone that would make me laugh and hear me out and tell me I'm alright. Thank you lord for Rex. Maybe I shouldn't be depending on him but lately besides family, he's all I've got.
Well that's my vent for the night. I just have been holding a lot in lately. Mostly stress and I miss the feeling of knowing that I have true friends. Maybe I do have some and I don't even realize it but there are some that you know truly don't want to be that close to you and that's what hurts the most.
Well that's all I have to say anyways...
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